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about

All of this indoctrination I received has ruined me. I was never allowed to think for myself, so what did you expect when I realized they were all wrong.........

lyrics

Verse 1:
I buried my grandmother/Same day that I turned 30/Funeral took place/In the same spot that my family worships/They don't really know who I am anymore/Still see a little boy knocking on doors/All just to bring you the truth of the lord/Didnt believe it/It's what I was told/And that's all I've ever known/All that came out my home/Like no santa no bunny no fairy/Just end of the world talk/Damn it was scary like/What the fuck is installed in me/Insomnia I just wanna sleep/Brainwashed due to my beliefs/These night terrors they wait for me/If you were taught/That the world was ending/Just surviving through religion/I assume that you would listen/All my life I've tried to run/Escape their ruling thumb/To these thoughts I still succumb/I guess that I'm mother's son....

Bridge:
I dont know........I dont know......I dont know.......

Verse 2:
13 when I started to see/That this is not the way for me/And they called me a wayward teen/So them all I tried to appease/Baptized in their lies/I wanted to be fine/So I'd be in their lives/But then turned 25/All my nights turned into white lines/And thats the consequences/When you say that there's no future/Teach them worldly ones are evil/And in college there's no use for/Put all your faith in god/And in him you place your trust/But/He never showed up/So you can see why I feel fucked/Now beliefs I must attack/Escape their mental torture rack/Somedays its so hard to laugh/I want my Saturday mornings back/And my Sundays back too/I wish that I made friends in school/I wish that I wasn't so awkward around people that are new/Stuck with all these trust issues/Because of what y'all call the truth/And since I don't find it true/Nothing to yall I've been reduced/I'll deal/Just know you destroyed me sleeping/Red eyes all of the time/Cause I'm tryin to see these demons/

credits

from pretendtobe, released October 5, 2018
Produced by Lone Buddha

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Alex Ludovico Gary, Indiana

Drugs, sex, and hip-hop. Alex Ludovico, born in Gary, IN and created in Chicago, is the living embodiment of that credo. This is rap for a new generation: diverse, irreverent, real without pretention yet honest and humorous. This is music for the soundtrack of life, sometimes serious, sometimes fun, always memorable. ... more

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