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pretendtobe

by Alex Ludovico

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1.
2.
Chorus: Now I see them bad bitches/With the white lace/On their faces (2X) Verse 1: I made it/you can't tell me nothing I made it/Been snortin rails in Vegas/with some of your favorite ladies/you know the ones you paying/they love me that's all I'm saying/they throw me the top and the box/and I just take it/I'm gracious/went from writing love letters to showing up/half gallons of whiskey just for us to po up/and tell you the truth/I'm really just chasing life/ain't no Lin Manuel but still end up in heights right/Out in Miami/made friends with a couple strippers/I ain't even tip em/they really just likes my dimples/Moved there from Puerto Rico/gave me fire perico/then they let me fuck/had em screaming out morenito/passed out on the bed/ain't even give em the keycode/got my game figured out/like I'm using Konami's cheat code/niggas be dreaming bout the life I live/I'm not worried bout my end/not worried about my end yeah Chorus Verse 2 (Bast): And I'm working/On this stage/Got you focused/On my legs/Know that I be/That number one honey/Who never looks back/But still catches your gaze/Diamonds drippin down my chest/Your perfect belle le vous/Crooked lines on my desk/Pretty powder blue/I used to like the way we dine/You knew my truth/Cause I'm livin on the line/ Chorus
3.
L.I.T. 03:27
Chorus WE SHOW UP IN THIS BITCH/LITTTTTTTTTTTTTT/FUCK AROUND YOU COULD GET HIT/WE SHOW UP IN THIS BITCH/LITTTTTTT/WHERE YA GIRL I NEED A KISS/(2x) Verse 1: What you got to say/Nigga nothing/We ride in this bitch cocaine/That mean bumping/Show up at a function/Oooh/Get disgusting/Turn that bitch out jackass/Thats called stuntin/Young black Johnny Knoxville/With e pills/That keep it too trill/Take a couple more/Get the feels/lil body chill/drinking 20 dollar whiskey/Out of 30 cent cups/Yup/Never end that turn up/Yup Chorus Verse 2: Clock struck 2/but we out until the sun due/how many bottles can we run through/before the devil becomes you/and you want to/make decisions impaired/hell yeah/mufucker the devil may care/1 whiskey 2 whiskey/three four/face plant after that/a four to the floor/that's a house party/so quit bumpin the damn table/I see you unstable/so take this shit here/and that shit there/wake yo bitch ass up/nigga it's girls in here/ray Lewis nigga/better put that game face on/I'm gone take a girl home/wake her up with crossiants/after she get the long D/and any other consonants she needs/my G Chorus Verse 3: Hol up hol up hol up/She just twerkin to Controlla/Feel like I got it sowed up/And she asking me to roll up/Baby girl know I dont know ya/But I'm feeling real impulsive/and you movin like convulsions/to your place where we going/play some naked twister/with this mister/asking me to get deep up in ya/call for God like you reading scripture/I'm just tryin fix ya/no iylana vanzant/baby throw it back/no khaled/I like that/give it to ya accretae/even tho it barely fit/baby that's no embarrassment/you my special angel/perfect the way they made ya/now please turn over/girl that's a change up/Do what you do/ringer please put me through/so good I'm running away from you/You about to be my bad habit/I can't stand it/you got that pussy so good/it's scary god damn it
4.
Uberpool 03:14
Verse 1: Pull up in that Uberpool/get out that bitch looking cool/leather jacket leather backpacking/like bitch i got shit to move/really my dream is just rapping/You give me that mic and I'm magic/yeah i got it established/I just be selling to support my habit/I got like 15 more more bags/and and and I only take cash/unless you a beautiful woman/and then/I might take some ass/just let me pull this app/I'll get it to you like that/don't talk me in the pool/you don't wanna know facts/ Chorus: My Uber driver a drug dealer/He dont even know it (3x) Aye/That nigga dont even know it/Aye that nigga dont even know it Verse 2: Been on that snow/for like 9 years/lot of late nights/and some diarrhea/never ever ever shit my pants/came close nigga but I did my dance/shmoney nigga how cool am i/how cool is that/need the plug I'm yo guy/I'm at these afterhours/while yo ass at home singing lullabies/I need paper paper paper/usually rolling like skater/molly for me/the blow is for you/then I'm gone see ya later/make sure you get your cake up/40 bucks nigga ain't much/and I'll never bring you lame stuff/we just holding we done came up Chorus Bridge: Excuse me sir/would you like some drugs/No/ok/then that's more for us/Excuse me sir/would you like some drugs/No/Ok/Shit thats mo for us/Mo mo mo for us/Mo mo mo for us/You dont want no drugs/Cool nigga/Mo for us/Mo mo mo for us/Mo mo mo for us/You dont want no drugs/Cool nigga/Mo for us/ Chorus
5.
3rd Pill 02:44
Chorus: Motherfucker you blacked out again/At least that girl on your shoulders is a ten/How much whiskey did yo ass just kill/Should've slowed down after that 3rd pill/ (2x) Verse: Only wake up just to pay the rent/Out here chasing these kibbles and bits/Like ain't that a bitch/Always grew up not worried bout rich/Here it is/Days when my pockets be thin/Up above water got to play it smarter/Or I'mma end up on my ass/You do it legit then you end up with shit/That be the problem with chasing this cash/But damn I must ask/What is my purpose and why am I workin/So hard just to end up with nothing/like barely a muffin/Nickels in pocket be scuffin/Missing days riding my Huffy/Now all my nights they be drunken/I'm constantly chasin these hussies/Settling down seems disgusting/Vomit act like kissing cousins/Always something wrong with my stomach/Is the life that I'm just destined to/hungover days and the nights be all sexual/I mean it's cool when you're actually 22/But I'm older now with way more to lose/Like thin line between home and homeless/Black birds by my house feel like a omen/Adulthood like death just fuckin closed in/Motherfuckin 30 and I can't get focused Chorus
6.
For Rabbit 03:28
Intro: Wish I was the person you wanted/But I'm not/But I'm not/I wanna slow down from this sin/But I can't stop/I can't stop/I hear that sadness in your voice when we talk/And it weighs a lot/It weighs a lot/I promise I'll be better/But really not/Really not Chorus: I hear that sadness in your voice when we talk/And it weighs a lot/It weighs a lot/I promise I'll be better/But really not/Really not (2x) Verse 1; I been reading since the age of 2/yet stupidly I the way I move/you always call me bout the truth/don't know if I'm believing you/gotta find my own path/and I wish that didn't make you mad/but I refuse to follow that/and I wish that I could take it back/but I can't/but I can't/I'd rather live in this fog/than ever come back/you always tell me/get your life on track/but never that/no never that/But yeah I notice that/ Chorus Verse 2: Didn't wanna disappoint you/your special baby/the one you had so much in store for/but drove you crazy/I couldn't buy/none of the stuff that they were saying/So I stepped into the world/my girl it felt amazing/so much freedom/felt like I was just breathing/I could quit seething/out of my cage instead of reaching/but all the years I missed/left me ill equipped to deal with this/so now I'm just floating/with no sign of a ship Chorus
7.
God 02:54
Verse 1: I buried my grandmother/Same day that I turned 30/Funeral took place/In the same spot that my family worships/They don't really know who I am anymore/Still see a little boy knocking on doors/All just to bring you the truth of the lord/Didnt believe it/It's what I was told/And that's all I've ever known/All that came out my home/Like no santa no bunny no fairy/Just end of the world talk/Damn it was scary like/What the fuck is installed in me/Insomnia I just wanna sleep/Brainwashed due to my beliefs/These night terrors they wait for me/If you were taught/That the world was ending/Just surviving through religion/I assume that you would listen/All my life I've tried to run/Escape their ruling thumb/To these thoughts I still succumb/I guess that I'm mother's son.... Bridge: I dont know........I dont know......I dont know....... Verse 2: 13 when I started to see/That this is not the way for me/And they called me a wayward teen/So them all I tried to appease/Baptized in their lies/I wanted to be fine/So I'd be in their lives/But then turned 25/All my nights turned into white lines/And thats the consequences/When you say that there's no future/Teach them worldly ones are evil/And in college there's no use for/Put all your faith in god/And in him you place your trust/But/He never showed up/So you can see why I feel fucked/Now beliefs I must attack/Escape their mental torture rack/Somedays its so hard to laugh/I want my Saturday mornings back/And my Sundays back too/I wish that I made friends in school/I wish that I wasn't so awkward around people that are new/Stuck with all these trust issues/Because of what y'all call the truth/And since I don't find it true/Nothing to yall I've been reduced/I'll deal/Just know you destroyed me sleeping/Red eyes all of the time/Cause I'm tryin to see these demons/
8.
Chorus: I drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/Like how bout you/Like how bout you/I drink till I cant/I drink till I cant/I drink till I cant/Umm how bout you/I drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/Like how bout you/Like how bout you/I smoke till I faint/I smoke till I faint/I smoke till I faint/Ummm how bout you/ Verse 1: Evan Williams/liter and a half/chug that like a maniac/surprised that my brain still intact/tact tact tact/I be living off liquor/never living off rap/mama I made it/I'm up in the hills/Gary ain't kill me baby I'm still here/I went from living my life in fear/to alcohol sweats and the cocaine tears/ Chorus: Drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/ Verse 2: Young lady in my bed/be brown as usual/she Dominican/I just caught the fuku/thats Latin voodoo/or Haitian juju/we was watching YouTube/while I ate on some shrooms/screaming in Spanish that she lost her coke/i tell her let go/Girl it's all in your nose/relax you puto/don't close the door/come back inside/this is your home/she can't get/we been here for 3 days/fucked each other three hundred five ways/she don't even remember my name/but the drugs was with me/so she started saying Chorus: Drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/ Verse 3: As the delivery boxes pile up/and the bank account depleted/feeling like I'm needed Jesus/or at least some sort of reason/the desire to keeping breathing/Is leaving like hairlines receding/all this mental bleeding/from out running my demons/and they hang here by legions/screaming more drugs please you need it/trying to avoid them speaking/yet I still end up just geeking/and I know this girl is leeching/drugs gone I bet she's peacing/I'm an idiot needs teaching/but for dollar bills I'm reaching/Cause Chorus: I drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/Like how bout you/Like how bout you/I drink till I cant/I drink till I cant/I drink till I cant/Umm how bout you/I drink til I cant/How bout you/Smoke till I faint/How bout you?/Want another line/How bout you?/Nah I feel fine/Baby how bout you?/Like how bout you/Like how bout you/I smoke till I faint/I smoke till I faint/I smoke till I faint/Ummm how bout you/
9.
Calendar 03:07
Verse 1: Second year in LA/and I barely finished my checklist/got an Instagram full of women/I never slept with/walking round at 5am/chasing my next hit/cause it’s easier find drugs/than self acceptance/me on Monday mornings/that is what a mess is/and very atheist/so you keep your damn blessings/I spent 5 months this year homeless/so hmmmm no bitch/even in this sunshine/a nigga know what cold is/know what alone is/been like that since 12/learned how to pretend I’m doing swell/when really all is not well/but what will never happen/is me showing my sadness/claiming this life is tragic/man that will never happen/I’m a black man in America/being weak gets you killed/Keep up facades that is real/just depression behind this face of steel/emotional weight crushing my damn chest/this year has been a damn wreck Chorus: Second year in LA/and I barely finished my checklist/got an Instagram full of women/I never slept with/walking round at 5am/chasing my next hit/cause it’s easier find drugs/than self acceptance/me on Monday mornings/that is what a mess is/and very atheist/so you keep your damn blessings/I spent 5 months this year homeless/so hmmmm no bitch/even in this sunshine/a nigga know what cold is/know what alone is/been like that since 12/learned how to pretend I’m doing swell/when really all is not well/but what will never happen/is me showing my sadness/claiming this life is tragic/man that will never happen/I’m a black man in America/being weak gets you killed/Keep up facades that is real/just depression behind this face of steel/emotional weight crushing my damn chest/this year has been a damn wreck Chorus: 365 days up on that calendar/not one of them mattered bruh/Man fuck this shit/Fuck this shit/fuck this shit/ (2x) Verse 2: I did the math/I spent like 3 grand on white girl/and that was lightwork/ATM overdrafts hurt/that’s knife work/also fell in love and got ghosted/I hate it/I swear to god/I’m swearing off these Caucasians/also keeping my heart on my sleeve/because it only seems to bleed/Eric Garner a nigga could not breathe/this world is choking me/just some red eyed Jedi/need of a last hope/working 7 days a week/but inches from broke/putting up last second field goals/they hit the post/want that refs arms to go up/but nigga nope/that’s why I use the coke/numb is my default setting/got no time for resting/death is coming soon surely I accept it/I’ve accomplished nothing in these 31 years/but a lot of pushed back tears/and a few cracked veneers/I’m so done with this year like/I'm so done with this year like/I'm so done with this year ugh/ Chorus
10.
I Quit 02:59
Verse 1: Second year in LA/and I barely finished my checklist/got an Instagram full of women/I never slept with/walking round at 5am/chasing my next hit/cause it’s easier find drugs/than self acceptance/me on Monday mornings/that is what a mess is/and very atheist/so you keep your damn blessings/I spent 5 months this year homeless/so hmmmm no bitch/even in this sunshine/a nigga know what cold is/know what alone is/been like that since 12/learned how to pretend I’m doing swell/when really all is not well/but what will never happen/is me showing my sadness/claiming this life is tragic/man that will never happen/I’m a black man in America/being weak gets you killed/Keep up facades that is real/just depression behind this face of steel/emotional weight crushing my damn chest/this year has been a damn wreck Chorus: Second year in LA/and I barely finished my checklist/got an Instagram full of women/I never slept with/walking round at 5am/chasing my next hit/cause it’s easier find drugs/than self acceptance/me on Monday mornings/that is what a mess is/and very atheist/so you keep your damn blessings/I spent 5 months this year homeless/so hmmmm no bitch/even in this sunshine/a nigga know what cold is/know what alone is/been like that since 12/learned how to pretend I’m doing swell/when really all is not well/but what will never happen/is me showing my sadness/claiming this life is tragic/man that will never happen/I’m a black man in America/being weak gets you killed/Keep up facades that is real/just depression behind this face of steel/emotional weight crushing my damn chest/this year has been a damn wreck Chorus: 365 days up on that calendar/not one of them mattered bruh/Man fuck this shit/Fuck this shit/fuck this shit/ (2x) Verse 2: I did the math/I spent like 3 grand on white girl/and that was lightwork/ATM overdrafts hurt/that’s knife work/also fell in love and got ghosted/I hate it/I swear to god/I’m swearing off these Caucasians/also keeping my heart on my sleeve/because it only seems to bleed/Eric Garner a nigga could not breathe/this world is choking me/just some red eyed Jedi/need of a last hope/working 7 days a week/but inches from broke/putting up last second field goals/they hit the post/want that refs arms to go up/but nigga nope/that’s why I use the coke/numb is my default setting/got no time for resting/death is coming soon surely I accept it/I’ve accomplished nothing in these 31 years/but a lot of pushed back tears/and a few cracked veneers/I’m so done with this year like/I'm so done with this year like/I'm so done with this year ugh/ Chorus

about

An audio journal of my first 2 years in LA. All the highs and all the lows of a young man chasing the LA lifestyle.

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released October 5, 2018

Executive Producer: Kyle Hargrove

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Alex Ludovico Gary, Indiana

Drugs, sex, and hip-hop. Alex Ludovico, born in Gary, IN and created in Chicago, is the living embodiment of that credo. This is rap for a new generation: diverse, irreverent, real without pretention yet honest and humorous. This is music for the soundtrack of life, sometimes serious, sometimes fun, always memorable. ... more

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