We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Winning​/​Losing

by Alex Ludovico

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Immediate download of 19-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Downloading the album includes 2 BONUS TRACKS!!!!
    Purchasable with gift card

     

1.
July 2nd 86/Oh shit/It had to be/Kicking and pushing/I'm coming out the womb naturally/Actually/Doctor changed my direction/Too fat for all that/Became C-section/Standard July/Its pretty hot that summer/Had to sleep for the cut/Put my mom under/And I wonder/With all the drugs rushing through her veins/Could it explain/Why I'm so strange/So different and very eccentric/Why my soul's open and its full of defenses/12 hours of labor/10 pounds 2 ounces/Light-skinned curly hair/My cry was resounding/Claim that they heard me down the halls/And in the lower levels/23 years later/My voice still treble/But ever since that first slap/Everything's been hurtin homie/But like Dilla Donuts/I been workin on it/
2.
Watch out like Will Robinson/Danger/ Take the competition/Line em up/Straight razor/ I'm shattering dreams/And I'm severing spleens/ When I drop these things/ Compare it to a guillotine/ Marie Antoinette at your neck/ Expect no less/See that sweat/ Clearly under great duress/Don't step/ The bar game heavier than 4 fat chicks/ Squeezed into the back of a taxi/ So you'll never pass me/Ducati with the flow/ Crotch rocket on the road/I go/ Swerve thru traffic no room/ Turn to Guile when I wild/You can hear the sonic boom/ I'm out here/y'all motherfuckers never seen/ No reach but I stretch/Dhalsim/ Y'all team/Cellar dwellers Kansas City Royals/ While I spit it so ugly/Fuckin Susan Boyle/ When I step in your section/Notice the aggression/ No weapons but expect it/Destroy with my collective/ I guess if you set trip/supposed to make my exit/ Next bitch/Yeah my demeanor kinda deceptive/ I wreck shit/ Microphones are like Tonka trucks/ Back up/To act up/End of your luck/ Feeling important/Then motherfucker jump like Jordan/ Stack up our recordings/You're boring/ Me I stay soaring/ Atreyu my story never ends/ And I've been dope/Since the first scribble of a pen/ Now I'm a veteran/About 5 years in/ And I never compromised/Just to get hella spins/ I speak from my soul/ Till my hair is gray and old/ Chasing Alice with a chalice/Fell in the rabbit hole/ Disappear like a chesire cat/From trees I attack/ No spitting but bitch its a wrap/
3.
As I walk through the streets/See these stores close down/Smile cause the world/Looks like my hometown/Gary, Indiana/Ever drove down our mainstreet/Abandoned ghost town/Where no souls speak/Its just the shuffle of some feet/Abused concrete/Potholes that swallow souls/Get sprayed by a pipe's leak/These kids pipe dreams/To play NBA teams/Fuck an education/Man that shit is disgusting/Who am I to judge/I left college too/But with a clear vision/To get where I need to/Be unbeatable/But its inconceivable/Coming out of my surroundings/With gunshots sounding/Caprice trunks sounding/Feel like vultures rounding/Here to pick and scavenge/Anything that they could manage/Decay at its finest/City of the lifeless/Industries collapsed/So we really priceless/Full of walking lifers/Avoiding cop sirens/Sound rings loud/But I prefer that to silence/I sit and hum along/The music lasts so long/Expected this record/End of the world theme song/
4.
I grab pencil and paper/Approach my session/Can of PBR and Marlboro 27s/Hear the beat write the record/With a promise that I'll wreck it/Ricky Bobby probably/Little baby Jesus help em/Formerly Ill Eagle/Now its Alex Ludovico/Michael Stipe when I write/Automatic for the people/A teenage creep/Graduated to a sonic youth/But really I'm no age/Cause I only spit the truth Its the return of the gangsta thanks ta/These oxymorons like bobsledding Jamaicans/Sanka/Whatcha smokin mon/Tellin me these cats on/With the shucking and the jiving/In their little rap songs/Dog/If y'all are hot then I must be on Neptune/Do my job like iPods/You imitations call you Zunes/Never fronted once/I'm the realest in the room/You're no gangsta dude/You get on Twitter to call your goons/ Yes I'm anti-thug/But these blipsters could get it too/Stop rocking shirts/From bands you've never listened to/I hate your visual its pitiful/Please stop it/Pickin out the brightest shit you see/In Hot Topic/You fucks are making me sick/I got no anti-bodies/Virus inside us/Well I guess I spit a hot toddy/And that there is old southern shit fucker/Off the dome I'm ramblin/Like an Allman brother Sleep deprivation/Equals creativity/Even tho these lines aint spoken sensibly/It was 7AM/When I composed this rhyme/Which nowadays/I'm calling it Douglas Martin time/Blurry Drones and/Alex Ludovico be mad at me/Drones the curator/I'm the whole fucking gallery/Smithsonian of flowing son/This is my symposium/Pay attention/Or I'll roll the fuck over you wha/ Hear the passion when I spit/Its the revolution started/Those mad at me/Kano fatalities heartless/Dumb fucks/Don't even recognize what art is/Like you're staring at a Haring/And saying that it's garbage/Chicago cats that rap/Umm usually ass/Hear you rhyme gimme your 2.25/No pass/Above you like the El is/Game's mine I'm selfish/Piss off you fat fuck/Get no helpings/
5.
d.o.a. 04:46
Hov's that dude/But Ludo one up it/Drones told me to kill y'all/Keep it 100/(x2) Ludovico is a motherfucker/Cunt I will damage you/Raging on you fools/A motherfuckin party animal/Belushi of the looseleaf/Fucker this is rush week trust me/Tori Spelling in here/It gets ugly/Disgusting/Hit hard like the snare does/Tree in concrete/Baby I'm a rare one/Epidemic flowin out my lips/When I spit/Trust me/Mudhoney touch me I'm sick/Eghck/I eclipse you son/On some lunar shit/And when I'm fucking your girl/Trust I'm in her uterus/Apologies for cocky shit/Promise I'll quit/But you should've did that bitch/Call you Rocky 6/Non-stop hits/Now that's what you call music/I call it dollars to euros/Fucking useless/Thats the music you love/You put in all your heart/But when I hear it/Might as well just auto-tune a fart/I bring the fucking spark/Automatic like Bic prick/Whats coming forth from my lungs/Audio carcinogens/Marlboro 27s/You pussies E-cigarettes/LED verse a real flame/No match that/ Hov's that dude/But Ludo one up it/Drones told me to kill y'all/Keep it 100/(x2) I live inside the snare/Vocals bumpin like a bass drum/See the track saddle that/Ride it like it aint nunn/My mind gun weighs a ton/Chuck D with an Uzi/Gibraltor get off him/You can't move me/A walking hip-hop movie/A living breathing Krush Groove/Wild Style spitter/Uprockin on these fools/Because the wool has pulled/Turning lions into sheep/Gwen Stefani rappin probably/Bitch don't speak/Your flow no homo/We call it ass cheeks/Your bars not hard/Splenda dog so sweet/Me weak not that/Rhyme my ass off I snap/Finger and thumb dumb dumb/Do you get that/ANTTT ANTTT/It's not registering/Shell shocked when I rock/Fucking war veteran/Live show that's me/Microphone gets beat/Its my standard with these bars/So fuck if your ass reach/
6.
I got the 40 of Budweiser/The late night session/Fuck Pro Tools/Cubase makes the record/Beat to the window/Lay down the vocals/Sammy K mix it/Perform it at the live show/Give the fans a copy/And encourage them to burn it/2 friends tell 2 friends/And in turn then/200 people 'll come to hear about it/200 to 400/That's what word of mouth is/Make sure when I compose it/That people can quote it/People will take notice/If every line is the dopest/So when you see my ass/Pencil and pad/Hammer and nail to a carpenter/Tools of my craft/Audio Rembrant/Never ever sloppy/Warhol out the factories/You copies of copies/Do what you must/Cause I'm no hater/But I'm smooth in the groove/Needle on a record player/Hear the shit you write/And its far from nice/Try hard but toy bars/Call it Fisher-Price/
7.
I guess this rap dream/Similar to giving birth/Gotta keep pushing/Even tho that shit hurts/When the music you put out/Is loved by the earth/Look back at the track/See what it was worth/Why I stay on a search/Find a true purpose/Cause right now a torn garment/Feeling worthless/Young sitting in the corner pouting/Thirstin for life/But too short for the water fountain/Every move I'm counting/Is the next step to fame/Want a star on the boulevard/No walk of shame/Not say the same/Same shit that they say/go out of my way/To not traffic in rap cliches/Expose to something different/A young kid thats gifted/With high IQ/And a really big vision/Never turn my back/Let my integrity slack/Become a mainstream king/With a whole new attack/ When these days and these nights/Are dishing an asswhoopin/trying to hold on keep pushing/And when I finally make it on my final try/Look back at the struggle and just wave goodbye/When these days and these nights/Are dishing an asswhoopin/I'm trying to hold on keep pushing/And when I finally make it on my final try/Look back at the struggle and wave goodbye/ I've been force fed religion/Kept people at a distance/World is the devil/Godliness as my existence/I'm too smart for that shit/Realized it was madness/when my new path picked/People turned their backs quick/Fine that's it/Act like I never happened/If you see me/Look the other way as your reaction/Trust I understand it/My soul's with a new faction/Satan is my playmate/These fucks can't stand it/But fuck your fucking god/Damn it/If these are the cards I'm handed/Make sure I don't panic/Try to be the king of my castle with much clout/But at the moment/A tragic kingdom no doubt/But the love of the music/Helps me maintain/The stress on my brain/Has got me insane/But if I keep at it ya know/Just behave/To the days that I slaved/I could just wave/ When these days and these nights/Are dishing an asswhoopin/trying to hold on keep pushing/And when I finally make it on my final try/Look back at the struggle and just wave goodbye/When these days and these nights/Are dishing an asswhoopin/trying to hold on keep pushing/And when I finally make it on my final try/Look back at the struggle and wave goodbye/
8.
She told me/She had a weak st-st-stomach/I told her fuck it/It was just her tummy rumblin/But she said/Baby good I dont feel/Just tried to chill/But I just saw last night's meal/Bathroom just made a mess of it/No excrement/But the porcelain god just/Requested it/Aunt Flo/Aint been in town in two month/So as it all adds up/We're quite fucked/Suddenly a bit too much/Plus I wanna break-up with this cunt/Just couldn't figure out the words to say it/Few ideas I played with/Now I gotta delay it/Cause there she's layin/Expecting me/To come up with an answer/From that night we had the time of our life/Dirty dancing/Now I wanna Schwayze it/Pack man and play this bitch/Its my black man itch/I just sit and think a bit Now I suffer/From a weak st-st-stomach/Smirnoff in a glass straight/Had too much of it/Now I'm all type sick/Skin turning whiteness/Girl standing over my body/I just look lifeless/Shes screams I don't like this/How can we decide shit/After all-night kicks/And coming home lit/Then I scream bitch/I'm not a psychic/Truthfully real shit/You made me like this/No way I could have known/What your real feelings be/But around my 3rd drink/I did have an epiphany/I stand up/Look visibly upset/Stretch my arms out/Put my hands around her neck/Call it an OJ squeeze/Till theres no life left/Her eyes turned red/Then the snap came next/Collapsed to the ground/Her body made a sound/Kissed her on the forehead/And laid on the ground/
9.
My skin's made out of teflon/That's how I became this strong/All the times been stepped on/Or made to feel like this small/All these fucking people/That's pretending that they're friends to me/Acting like they're kin to me/But really they're all enemies/Feel like they're all sinster/Irritate like splinters does/Just wanna flush em from my life/Need an enema/Cancel my online accounts/Take my ass out and move south/Buy a cheap ass house/And wait my days out/Chasing goals like Gretzky/But not scoring it upsets me/At the moment/Suicide is looking really really sexy/Tired of expecting/Have my name crowned as the next thing/Wanna float face down in water/Ride the tide like jetskis/Unless me/Finds a way to cope with this depression/Xanax gives me the shakes/Plus it really wasn't helping/Can't seem to achieve/What's in my mind's eye/So I'll try/Stuff my face with the/Devil's pie/I'd pull a Robert Johnson/If there was a promise/That'd I'd be on top/With no contest/
10.
for.you 02:03
What a beautiful summer day/Its gone get the best of me/I'm walking down Lake Shore/Yeah trippin down LSD/Try to stay lowkey/I'm rollin with only me/Over 70/I'm hitting Oak Street Beach/With the coppertone women/That's getting they tan on/But I don't take my shirt off/And I keep my Vans on/Young woman passes by/Nice skin great eyes/Should I mention I'm quite timid/So I dont say hi/But notice her stares/And I act all unaware/But something inside flared so/Eh who cares/Put her shades back on/And put her hair up in a messy bun/Chance for my grasp/So I say excuse me hun/Suppose my approach/And attempt to get close/Didn't mean to encroach/But I had to come speak to you/Beautiful this is quite unusual/I'm here by myself/Mind if I chill with you/And she said her name was Keri/And sure I could come over/From northern Virginia/But she just transferred to Loyola/Her first summer in Chicago/With some friends that she followed/Finals finished up/And her summer's looking hollow/Passed me a Miller bottle/I just sat and stared/In awe of her beauty/Type of girl that isn't aware/Of the gifts she possessed/And my mind was all a wreck/Had me all off-kilter/Ain't no what to say next/So instead/She just grabbed my hand/Yelled follow me/Don't know where she's going/But where she's at I wanna be/She jumped in Lake Michigan/I ain't bring my swimmy fins/But to get her number/She says I gotta get in/Well fuck it/Head first I'm going under/I pick her up and slam her/Smiles in my face/She's loves it/Can't get any better/Soul shining like the weather/Having fun with a girl/And I just fuckin met her
11.
I left it all behind/My entire existence/Just cause I could rap/Say some slick shit/My brain was so mad/Throwing a bitchfit/But my heart's in control/So to that I listen/Logically probably should have/Kept up the past/Instead of a late night/And a life so fast/I'm barely eating/Friends barely speaking/Health just sucks/Heart's barely beating/Lungs all fucked/Smoking 2 packs a day/But quitting is for losers my vices/They stay/And all my old friends/Probably just moved on/I got a God problem/So I can't be y'all/They're so religious/I'm so indifferent/Never felt empty/Don't need an existence/Of some deity/That resides in the sky/I'm down here in hell/I gotta deal with I/ How would you feel if/God got rammed down your throat/But you never learned to swallow/So you end up choked/They say religion/It was given/To show people hope/Do I feel it/It appealing/My response just no/They tell you/Pray until something happens/Thinking God's got it covered/They take no action/My Saturday mornings/With people conversing/European plugs/We trying to get em converted/Felt absurd when/I wasn't even sold/Tried to take raw shit/Paint that gold/And instead of believing the real truth/From within/Told to take my world/From a few old men/They believe were chosen/For the truth know them/And my parents ruled my world/My beliefs were stolen/Told to just focus/Get over it/But I have doubts/And I'm not over it/ Then they see me in the street/Give a condesending wink/Keep that shit to yourself/If you ain't got the balls to speak/Unless you come down/Get the fuck off your high horse/Feel as good as you/I blazed my own course/Loved my old friends/Yes I really did/The memories the frenemies/And all the kinship/But I have moved on/Blazed my own path/I can't look back/Forward is how I last/I'm trying to make it/But everything I'm taught/I'm trying to take it/And burn it/And re-learn how to live life/You took it from me/
12.
1:11am 01:19
I'm 13/My head up under the covers/Trying to muffle the screams/Of my father and mother/From the way the voice boomed/Think somebody's getting killed/But its usually minor/Probably over some bills/I put my headphones on/Turned up the Limp Bizkit/Try to find piece of mind/It's somewhere distance/Couldn't drown the sound/All the details I'm forced to know/Till 2 or 3AM yo/They would just go/Back in 78/A union no man could break/But how many internal struggles/Could it take/Two very different people/Trying to make it equal/But when children hit the building/Challenges are steeper/My father felt neglected/His headship/Disrespected/He knew after the kids/He became second/My mom didn't expect it/He would turn cold/So the late night screams yo/They would just go/Till 1 AM again/Tryin to rest my head/My mother comes in the room/Sits on the edge of my bed/Ask if she's still in love/With any part of her soul/Stares me dead in the face/Says she doesn't know/Hard to tell now/But she was before/Cupid changed his address/Love's here no more/So if love entered my life/I'd cherish it/Cause I've seen the collapse/It hurts when perishing/
13.
the.official 01:51
From the womb to the tomb/I'm consumed with the music/So tell me/What the fuck are y'all doin/Y'all stupid/No winners just losers/Competition y'all put up/I ran through it/You're no movement/Seems you're late to class/Y'all truant/Falling for the weak shit/You're bamboolzed/While producers throw me beats/That'll blast these streets/Can't handle me/I'm a one man calvary/Charging into battle/And I'm clutching on a saber/In a pair of shorts/And a white sash/That says mayor/Cause I run shit/Who wants it/Not a soul will speak up/They Monday to Sunday/With that weak stuff/Damn oh my Jesus/Look out cause he's up/They only hitting singles/So I guess I'm batting clean up/Call me Big Hurt/In all black like a raven/But they ain't playing fair/These motherfuckers point shaving/Call who you want dope/Believe the point taken/But I'll kill em in your face/Yeah I point blank em/Every new MC supposed be umm/Some great hope/But crunch time these boys choke/Like its deep throat/So I'm starting a revolt/Don't give a fuck if he's dope/Y'all can't see or think/Get out the weed smoke/No million dollar budget cause I be's broke/Never sold coke/But I have done perico/The dope's in my veins/Not varicose/Pick on fuckers so bad/Like I threw a roast/Guess who's the host/Ludovico iho/And I see hos/Y'all shortsighted/Like a peephole/Listen up pipsqueak/I promise that I bring heat/August in Chicago/Follow me the shit's easy/Better be ready for the change that I bring/Ultimate Warrior/Grab the rope and shake the ring/DING
14.
Coming out the gate/Violent and vicious/MP3s you need/And my vinyl delicious/A wrecking ball collapsing walls/Bringing that division/Soul glo sprayed the flow/You can see how bright it glistens/Expect me to say listen/But purposely I go different/What they calling hip-hop/I'm calling it sickening/Get over the beat/And you really pay attention/Tuskgee Experiment/Rotting with the syphilis/When it comes to saving it/I got no intention/No Tom Cruise gadget or moves/Impossible mission/All of this I've been through/Dealt with all the issues/Shitted on my comp so much/Ran out of tissues/Brothers wanna diss dude/Just cause you're different/I feel like I'm the definition of perseverance/Something in my spirit/Telling me to be strong/Don't hate myself/Cause I ain't even on/Brain yells quit/Heart yells bullshit/Don't speak it/Nowhere near peaking/Me and my zenith/Would be one of the meanest/Shit the likes of which/The industry has never seen it/I spit it cause I mean it/Nothing is misleading/The people don't need it/And I'm more about the meaning/I write shit with psychic gifts/Leave your brain leaning/Get a whiff of you competing/Slow down your speeding/Hip-hop sucks signed up for the game/I wanna skate but could get checked/During a line change/Dirty dames are out to make you sick/Acting Gaga over disco stick/A feeling I'm not used to/Feeling unusual/Odd man out/Don't roll with a true crew/Enough of my boo-hoo/Don't wanna hear it too/Plus I'd rather spit darts/Kill these new dudes/Human pesticide/Comes from every line that I spit/Douse under the couch/And paralyze these roaches/Know this/On my 3rd blunt when I wrote this/Fingers all burnt/Cause I couldn't find the roach clip/So this/Piece of paper that the lines composed on/Covered in soot and green/Like this is what I rolled on/When I roll on you chumps/Know that its over/In the caterpillar/Riding in the bulldozer/5 miles an hour/So much power/All gassed up/Like a drunk at happy hour/Crusing motherfucker/Give a fuck if you pass me/Stoned anyways/Couldn't handle the fast speed/Turtle racing hares/Once again I don't care/Too fast you burn out/Slow and steady gets there/So yeah trucking on/My handle Big Dome/Get gone/Caution taped my zone/
15.
Hello sunrise/With some chick by my side/The apartment looks strange/Like I've never been inside/Realize/That this is not my place/A woman rolls over/Don't remember her face/How many shots did I take/Lost count around 7/Must've ended up here/For a couple hours in heaven/Sneak out quietly/Before she's startled by the sight of me/Or just lay here/Pretend I'm fast asleep/She speaks/Hey there good morning/Hmm how's it going/But I gotta get rolling/Wheres the closest El stop by your spot/She said north its 2 blocks/You'll run into Belmont/And thanks for the hard cock/Sarcastic your welcome/Glad I could be helpin/But this isn't a last chance/My number's on the nightstand/She said cool/Call me soon ya better hun/Step outside/Sunlight burns my retinas/Walking down Clark Street/The sunlight it sees me/Try to wipe the night away/Run and hiding in the shade/Remnants of last night/Liquor stains on my kicks white/Stomach won't sit right/Liver wants to cause a fight/Pay the 2.25 and just stand there/People rushing home from work/Bump me down the stairs/Fight my way to a seat/Shit sit anywhere/Ride the whole red line yo/I really dont care/Train barrels down the tracks/Toward my destiny/Thinking of bad pregnancies/Or a STD/That shit's a recipe/To a fucked up life/That could just happen/From one fuck one night/Under the light of the moon/Just trying to get in her room/But when sunlight resumes/New thoughts consume/Average woman only fucks 4 people/So if I'm 5/Does that make me evil/Or make her a whore/Because she wanted more/She was cock shopping/And I was the dick in store/What if the condom aint work/When my dick decided to burst/She was pro-life/That would have been a birth/That would have been a hurt/In this fucked up economy/Should I have gotten head/You know practiced some sodomy/Supposed to feel empty/What a Christian told me/All this drinking all this sex/Shouldn't help console me/Oh please/Thanks for the bullshit reminder/Put your faith in God/I'll put my faith in the vagina/I'd rather play around with Ableton/Take some shots of Jameson/Then get down get on my knees/And pray to him/But I do think about/The girl under the sheets/I barely remember speech/But laid down to sleep/Next to a stranger/That's potential danger/Just to treat her like subwoofers/Ya know bang her/Was it of her/Own volition or was it the liquor spilling/If I told her I respect her/Would she even listen/More than likely/She'll just go on with her life/Cause the restart button/Next day's sunlight When all you really want/Is a good one night/The next day's sunlight just strikes (x4)
16.
sacrifice 01:16
My aggression bleeds on the paper/Through a gel pen/I am trapped in a headwind/Going into talespin/I feel I've failed when/People don't know who I am/My girl says stay strong/They haven't had a chance/All the steps I take/Closer to a dead end/My biggest fans/Are my god damn friends/Appreciate their support/Helping me carry my torch/Talent of a big dog/But stuck on the porch/But need no escort/And fuck your cosigns/Clock's a little slow/Happen in due time/Just write dope rhymes/The illest fucker not signed/Lyrical mass murder/MCin Columbine/Chill in your spine/With the rhymes I design/Independent I will kick it/Watch these majors die/Until my dying day/I'm rap's Ian MacKaye/DIY my whole life/Major threat to these guys/Not minor/Sicker when I pound rhythms/Op Ivy bitches/I'm bringing up the soundsystem/Get down with him or get drowned chickens/Refusing to let up/Till you know I'm getting it/Till I'm on TV ridiculous/Debit card says declined/But my potential is limitless/
17.
nothing 02:14
Hello life/Seems I've made you a wreck/Paycheck to paycheck/Seven packs of cigarettes/My girlfriend left/My stomach stays upset/And I'm supposed to pick up the pieces of me left/23 with no real accomplishments/Minimal rap career/And done alot of dumb shit/Steady job/But I'm terrible with money/Emotionally stunted growth/And some issues with mommy/I never learned to stand on my own two/Cause when I fall/I had a place that I could crawl to/How would I act/If I didnt have that roof/Half the time/I don't know my next step/Or my next move/I fly by the seat of my pants/And everyday this life is a dance/But I can't muster up the courage to take the chance/As I get older/And I get colder/ I just bought a house/But it's still empty/A bed a flat screen TV/Tuned into the History/Channel because I obsess/Over the past/When life was still pure/Unadulterated laughs/Before I had to figure out/Who I wanna be/No motivation/I'm out of bed by 3/And that's PM/With no good reason/For why/ The only thing I cared about/Just broke/With no hope/Been using cocaine just to cope/So much blow/That I'm ripping apart my nose/But I used to love Chicago/Now I wanna leave it/The streets hold all my secrets/I don't wanna speak em/I used to live life full/I knew no fear/But this year/I just started to cry tears/Its weird/Cause I'm moving/But I'm stuck/Mentally progressing/But I'm stuck in a rut/Wanna take Alex's advice and grow up/But/ Writing made me happy/Now it just reminds me/Of my current situation/I have yet to find me/Spill my life on the tracks/I'm trying to change/But she thinks its wack/I want her love back/
18.
Scumbag or chump/Just a motherfuckin punk/Alex a pro/At fuckin girls lives up/Never settled/His head full of commotion/Him around is Draino/To your emotions/Its quite strange/Cause I always feel the same/Focused and emotionless/Is how I stay sane/Guess I get in their brain/Thinking they feel my pain/And by helping me/Their lives will have gained/Some sort of meaning/But just keep dreaming/Cause my demeanor's/Not what it's seeming/Underneath the mask of/I really care/Is nothing I'm so bare/Emotions they're not there/Just a blank stare/That's seemingly unaware/Of anyone in my distance/Only know my mind/I'm such a solipsist/That make me wicked/Cause I don't listen/Guess you don't get this/I smile like I'm so filled/People worried about my will/But why worry/I dont give a fuck how I feel/And just because you/Happen to own a vagina/I'm gonna open up to you/That's not how I do/
19.
This reminds me of El Dia De Los Muertos/On my dying day/Make sure that they turn this/Up/Bumped out the windows of the hearse/Only the instrumental/No trace of this verse/From birth we're all cursed/With mortality/Only 23/But these thoughts consume me/Thinking expiration date has long since passed/Death tatted on my lip/Reminds me it won't last/Life trajectory/Seems to be headed south/So fuck it time to go/Hope these horns play me out/Maybe 27 like the legends/Yeah do it all the same/No spot on that poster/Because no one knows my name/Blurry Drones called for/Divine intervention/But whats a God/I never seem to listen/Desire of the deity ain't in me/Plus these religious pussies/Are just too pushy/Keep trying to push me/Like I'll just open my heart/So much hatred for that shit/Don't know where I could start/Trust by all means/Helps you live clean then please/Serve your God to the fullest/But I don't need your propaganda/Take your beliefs and trash em/I realize my pattern/Has gotten kind of spastic/I'm an emo faggot/Let me be dramatic damn it/I want you to understand me/Speak to you like you're family/Hope demons unhand me/Then just grasp me/No belief in afterlife/What comes after life/Guess its just silence/Loudness turns to quiet/So I wouldn't like it/I sleep with my TV on/Sportscenter on repeat/Linda Cohn/But when I'm long gone/Motherfuck a legacy/Just be a better man/That I can't be/But every night when I fall asleep/Can't seem to see/Past this hurt and pain in me/But I'm losing my sight/Losing my mind/Wish somebody/Would tell me I'm fine/But I do not infest/Just put it to rest/NO/I'm better than that/Better this/But when I die/One thing please/Be a better man than I was supposed to be/

about

July 2nd ‘86; oh shit, it had to be.

Two days before the 210th birthday of our great nation, a boy named Kyle Hargrove was brought into this world. These past twenty-three years and change haven’t been the best to him, with his path to adulthood paved with divorce, drugs, and depression. I don’t know Kyle personally, so all of the intimate details of his past have come to me through his music as Alex Ludovico. Packed with a buoyant flow, a reference base wider than the vast majority of young rappers in the game today, and a willingness to display his own flaws and vulnerability, I knew this kid was special. When I heard the playback from our first collaboration, “A Round of Anger”, I was slack-jawed. Ludo came through with more intensity than the blaring horns smeared all over the track, his music smarts in overdrive, shouting out the band I sampled in the first verse. After listening to “A Round of Anger” for an hour straight, I came up with the idea for us to collaborate on an entire mixtape. I was determined to draw a classic out of him.

Our mixtape, Winning/Losing, finds Ludo using his elastic flow over nineteen beats to clear his cluttered mind, touching on everything from his depression, to his willingness to put everything into music, to autotuned farts. Some may derisively refer to Winning/Losing as “emo-rap”, but Alex doesn’t victimize himself. This is more of an honest account of a fiercely intelligent lyricist on the cusp of his mid-20s. That is, if he chooses to live long enough to make it there.

Winning/Losing is about winning and losing. It’s about achieving goals, winning. It’s about cleaning up nosebleeds after trying to cope with a breakup, losing. It’s about selling your soul to the devil in order to be the best. There is a reason why there are beats from the dearly-departed James Dewitt Yancey are sprinkled all over this release. Death hovers over almost every track, whether it’s Alex’s belief that God does not exist, his own suicide fantasies, or the scary image of one of his characters slapping down their pregnant girlfriend and lying down on the floor with her. To coin the title of one of Ludo’s all-time favorite records, death is certain.

If Kyle does indeed try to go out “at 27 like the legends”, it’s now my purpose to make sure he leaves a body of work behind that showcases his brilliance as an MC, that showcases his heart, that showcases his gift to bare it all, to shed the façade of the rap star and do what most rap stars fail to do: Keep it real. Winning/Losing is the start of this body of work. We hope you enjoy it.

Douglas Martin
Blurry Drones

credits

released May 4, 2010

Kyle Hargrove, Douglas Martin, Samuel Krumpos

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Alex Ludovico Gary, Indiana

Drugs, sex, and hip-hop. Alex Ludovico, born in Gary, IN and created in Chicago, is the living embodiment of that credo. This is rap for a new generation: diverse, irreverent, real without pretention yet honest and humorous. This is music for the soundtrack of life, sometimes serious, sometimes fun, always memorable. ... more

contact / help

Contact Alex Ludovico

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account